What Happens When Women Pray

Have you ever opened your eyes and wondered how you ever got to this place in your life?  

Its not where you meant to be or ever dreamed of being, but here you are, none-the-less.

Its like the curtains suddenly parted in my world and I'm standing on an unfamiliar stage, wondering how I got here.  I don't like the looks of things from here.  My spiritual life is not where it should be, it doesn't seem like the kids are seeking the Lord, all of our attitudes could use severe tweaking...you get the picture.  Looking behind me, I can see the slow decline that led to this place.  As if we were sinking in quick sand, never realizing what was happening.  

Its unfair to blame it all on Miss A, but all of life has centered on one thing, getting her well, and now its time to shake everyone out of their coma's and into reality!

I'm excited, I love a good project!!  

Not only will we have to implement the new behavior chart from Miss A's program into our parenting strategy for everyone, but we need to gird up our spiritual scaffolding as well.

Yesterday I was browsing our bookshelves for something to read that might inspire me.  I have a knack for collecting books, but don't have a lot of time to read.  There will be no time to rest in 'retirement' because I have such a long list of project to do and books to read!  

Anyway, when my grandparents moved out of their house about 8 years ago, I took home a few books that looked interesting.  They have turned out to be some of the best books I've ever read!  The one I chose yesterday is called, "What Happens When Women Pray"  by Evelyn Christenson. 

 

Its a short book written in the late '60's, an easy read, but very inspiring!

I'm already almost finished.

The author talks about how they taught thousands of women all around the nation to pray more effectively.  Through their effective prayers, they saw lives changed, families healed and churches prosper.  

David and I have seen how the effectual prayers of a few, especially his ever- faithful Mom, have made such a difference in our lives.  

It seems to me, that women all over the globe are struggling and striving to keep their heads above water in this extremely complicated world.  We are trying to swim while keeping our husbands, children, house, work, homeschool.. or whatever it may be, afloat.

We are pulled in every direction and the more we struggle to keep things together, the more they seem to sink.  

Maybe, we have it all backwards?

This book has really got me thinking that I need to simply get back to the basics of prayer.  Slowing down, bringing things to God FIRST, settling my heart, allowing Him to change my perspective before plowing forward- and so on.

But honestly,

I need help.

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in joining me in an accountability group for women on prayer?

My thought is to follow the simple guidelines/ suggestions laid out in the book to establish an online prayer support group.  

Let me know what you think...I will post the simple guidelines she lays out in the book later.

Pray about it!

Making Progress-our first day in family therapy

Monday was our first day of family therapy for the MTFC program that Miss A is in.

Despite my struggle to deal with the anger that had been brewing in me for so long, I found myself saying a lot of really nice things about my daughter!

It kind of took me by surprise-in a good way :)

It reminded me that even though we have gone through some incredibly difficult things with her, she is still my daughter and I do really, really love her.

And maybe most importantly, I have not lost hope for her or our relationship.

The folks in the program continue to impress David and I with their compassion and understanding. 

Within the adoption realm there are a lot of families who are frustrated with therapists that don't 'get it'.  They fail to understand the complex issues surrounding children with trauma and attachment issues.  Therapists are hypnotized by a child's outward charms into the belief that all problems stem from a lack of proper parenting. The message that parents receive is that the issues they are dealing with originate from not doing enough to 'honor the child's culture' or 'understanding their pain'.  Unfortunately, the child hears this too and is armed with even more ammunition against his family.

We felt like we were going to face a firing squad when we left that morning.  But nothing could be farther from the truth!  Although the therapist was clearly empathic towards Miss A and all that she has gone through that has led to this place, she did not blame us or point a finger of correction at us in any way.

She seemed to recognize that we are doing our best and that we want nothing more than to see her find a sense of hope again.

We are suppose to implement at home a points/reward system that they use.  That way, when she comes home for visits and when she gets home, there wont be any confusing gaps or changes.  The program that they use will just flow over into our lives, too.

I have to admit that I'm a little skeptical.

Order, repetition and consistency are not my forte.

Also, what we do with one child, we will have to do with everyone, which makes the idea even more overwhelming.

But, I'm game.

Who knows, maybe it will be just the ticket for everyone-?

Sweet, Sweet Promises

Isaiah 43:1-7

But now, thus says the

 Lord,

your Creator, O Jacob,

And He who formed you, O Israel,

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name;

You are MINE!

When you pass through 

the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers,

they will not overflow you,

When you walk through the fire, you will 

not be scorched,

Nor will the flame burn you.

For I am the Lord your God,

The Holy One of Israel, 

Your Savior;

I have given Egypt as your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your place.

Since you are precious in My sight,

Since you are honored and 

I love you,

I will give other men in your place

and other peoples in exchange 

for you life,

Do not fear, for I am with you;

I will bring your offspring from the east,

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, 

'Give them up!'

And to the south, 

'Do not hold them back'

Bring My sons from afar,

and My daughters from the 

ends of the earth.

Everyone who is called by My name,

and whom I have created for My glory,

Whom I have formed, even whom I have made"

A Wonderful Resurrection Sunday!!!

 Never too old for an egg hunt...but the competition is fierce!

 Our beautiful niece :)

 Its serious business when some of the eggs have money!!!

 Feelin' pretty good about his stash

 Hmmm...should I keep looking or call it a day?

 Not sure what happened here :-P

 We were blessed to have our nephew and his wife "The Chefs Extraordinaire" 

they prepared a French style rack of lamb with Apple and Endive salad 

as an appetizer-Yyuuummm!!!

 5 star restaurant style

 The chef and my sister

 Mmmmmm....

 My two sisters playing Just Dance on the Wii

don't you just love the aprons!

 The hungry gang!

Good times :)

A Much Deeper Forgiveness

At the risk of stating the obvious, Gods timing is so perfect its almost comical!

Miss A has been in the program for a week now.  Each day she has been away I discover new feeling sprouting from my heart like buds on the Maple trees outside my window, but much less pleasant to witness!  Out of the core of me is coming such a rush of anger and bitterness, its taking me by surprise.  I had no idea how much animosity had been stored up over the years toward my own dear daughter.  It hurts to admit it.

Witnessing our other children bask in the peace and quiet that comes in her absence, makes me realize how much of a hold she had on everyone.  She controlled every aspect of our lives.  Each day, I woke with the dread of waking her not knowing if she would be in a decent mood or a bad one.  If it was bad, our whole day would be a nightmare!  The other kids would walk on egg shells all day for fear of arousing her wrath and go to bed at night afraid of what she might do to them in their sleep.  All of this became the marshland that I navigated each day.  No time to stop and consider or raise my eyes from the path, lest I stray into danger.  "Keep to the path, don't lose focus" was the chant inside my head that my feet beat the path to.
Now in relative peace, comes the reality of where we have been and the rush of emotions we held tight in our chest until in safety we dare to look at them.

Thank you Lord for the reminder that now is the time to forgive!


Over the years, my thoughts and energies were fixed on the work at hand.  I was careful to establish my heart in the fact that she was hurt and it was my job to minister to her needs.  Pouring every ounce I could muster into loving her the best way possible, day in and day out.

When the Psychologist suggested that much of what she does is for attention, that she really does understand what is going on and that she is quite possibly not psychotic as we had been led to believe, something broke, and I think it was my heart.
There's no doubt in my mind that the motivation for her behavior is pain and trauma.  That she doesn't 'mean' to do it, but to hear that she continues to hurt, lie and abuse for personal gain...well, frankly, that is so distressing it makes me angry!

BUT, being the season of the greatest example of forgiveness given by our Lord Jesus Christ, there is hope yet for me :)

I long for a restored relationship with Miss A.  I hunger for a deeper relationship with Christ.  Therefore, I WILL forgive her!  Its not my favorite thing to do.  Hurt and anger are familiar friends whose company comforts me.  Difficult to admit, but true.  They whisper to me that forgiving leaves me powerless, that only in holding onto hurt can we really make the other person SUFFER!              LIES!!!!!


To hold onto hurt only rots my own heart and gives power to the enemy!

My prayer is now-

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
try me and know my anxious (evil) thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
and lead me in the everlasting way.


So, Gods timing is perfect in that He should expose the depth of my unforgiveness in this season.  The same time of year 7 years ago, that He asked me to "walk to the cross" for a hurting little girl and her brother, in the same way He walked to the cross for me (knowing FULLY what I am, a sinful wretch).  To lay down my life for her as He laid down His for me.  Yep, 7 years ago those were the words that came in confirmation to adopt Miss A and Mr B!  And today He asks me to go much deeper in forgiveness!

Puppies, Puppies, Puppies...to make you SMILE :)

Time to relax and refuel, the key to keeping a marriage healthy

Early Saturday morning, David and I decided that we would sneak away for the weekend.  The timing could not have been better.  Both of us were wound pretty tight after the past few weeks of dealing with Miss A, I think the kids were as happy to have us leave as we were :)
There's a decent hotel in Silverdale where we can get a huge room with a kitchenette and little living room for a great price.  We get there quick and spend the time we would normally be travelling, sitting in the hot tub!  It may not be the most exotic get away, but we have lots of "down time" which is critical for us.

Ahhh...so nice to relax and enjoy each others company

A quiet dinner, movie, laughter and sleeping late is just what the doctor ordered.

The weather smiled just long enough for us to have a wonderful walk along the Clear Creek trail.  Birds were everywhere.  A pair of Killdeer cautiously allowed us to watch their 4 little babies peck around in the mud before calling them to safety under moms wings.  

Daddy Killdeer standing guard

We determined to make bird watching walks a regular date time.  Amid all the chaos of life, David is always so willing to invest in our marriage any way he can.  I am so thankful for the enduring friendship we share.

A little Junco in our tree

Two woodpeckers, a Pileated and a Flicker at our feeder