Miss J :)
Its this beautiful girls' 13th birthday tomorrow! She has only been with us since August, but I can't imagine what life was like without her. She truly struggled in her previous family, despite their best efforts. She was with them from the time she was 6 years old, but was the situation was just not working. I really believe that there are times when it "takes a village". What doesn't work with one family, seems to work fine with another. Some kiddos just need a change in environment in order to see the light. Miss J was making very difficult choices. Although they were a good family and did everything they could think of, she was just unable to make the changes that were needed while in their home. I feel really bad for them, because we are truly reaping the fruits of their labor. She is a joy and a delight in our home. David and I are so thankful for her cheerful, willing attitude. She is full of laughs and always there with a hug whenever you need one.
Late July of last summer we were asked if we'd consider taking her into our family. We had just gone through an extremely challenging year with Miss A and obviously had some serious concerns about taking on another child. I remember walking along a quiet road, praying about the decision. I hardly ever "hear" God speaking to me, but that was one of the rare times. He very clearly said that she was a "gift" for us from Him, that she would bring sunshine into our weary hearts and give us hope again. And she has done just that, and more! Happy Birthday Sunshine :)
I'm sorry I didn't write on Friday. We had a VERY eye-opening meeting with Miss A's new psychologist. He confirmed what David and I were already thinking, that she is using her mental illness as an excuse to rage. He called it Dissociative Disorder. When she gets really stressed or feels very guilty, she sort of "checks out" and becomes someone else. He didn't think that it is psychosis anymore. She has learned how to use her sickness to control us. He was very concerned for our safety and felt that we should strongly consider putting her in the behavior modification program through Kitsap Mental Health. We will hear some time this week whether or not she is accepted into that program.
If she makes it inot the program, she will stay in a therapeutic home for 6-9 months ( barring any violent outbursts) and attend weekly therapy sessions with David and I. If she doesnt get to do that program, then we will continue to work closely with the psychologist to develop a management plan of our own. He was adamant that she not be home with me when David is out of town, though. It is his firm belief that her violence will continue to escalate, putting us all at risk.
The only way that I would feel good about this is if we are working toward reunification. I am absolutely positive that she can be a part of this family, if she learns to regulate her anger. Six to nine months is a very long time, I will miss her terribly. Despite the bruises on my heart and body, she is my daughter and I will never be complete unless she is with me.
She knows what we are thinking, and agrees. When she is calm and lucid, she HATES the physical and emotional pain that her behavior causes. It is HER worst fear that she would cause someone serious damage. David thinks that she has a sense of relief that we found a program that might be able to help her.
More when I know what's happening....
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