Beautifully Broken

I recently began reading the book WRECKED by Jeff Goins, in it, he talks about how it isn't until you are truly broken or 'wrecked' by something, that you really start living.
David and I had just been talking about that same concept a few weeks ago. There is so much going on in our lives, enough to destroy us if we let it. And yet, we feel more alive than ever. Is that wrong? Is is a sick love of the dramatic or painful? Why is it then, that when one son is facing bone marrow transplant, another one is going through drug addiction, another is trying to graduate from high school, we are struggling to get our daughter with mental issues to live independently, we suddenly feel like we can taste and feel life in its most amazing sense?
Please dont get me wrong, these things are hard-EXTREMELY HARD. My heart aches with brokenness. There is NOTHING more difficult that watching your child struggle physically and/or emotionally. I have had more sleepless nights and shed more tears in the last year than probably my whole life combined.
Yet, even when I feel my heart stop in fear of the future, there is breath moving through me. I am breathing...or God is breathing into me. Sometimes, its all I have. The world seems to turn, while I stand still. Suspended. Separated. Alone with my pain. All I can hear is my breath. I listen, really listen, amazed at the wonder of it. Comforted by the rhythm of it. So very thankful for it. And know that it is not my own. That even the very thing that gives me life, is not my own.
This life, with all its storms and crashing waves can thrash and tear at me, but I will rise above it all, carried on the breath of the One who holds it all in His hands.